ABOUT    CAST    ARCHIVE    FORUM    BONUS          

First Comic   Previous    Next   Current Comic

(Transcript and visual captions below}

   Candles flickered in the dimmed rooms, casting strange jittering shadows on the walls. It was all quite spooky and dramatic, and was a lot less effort than blowing up all those balloons and arranging them while standing on the tip-top of a ladder. Karl was still worried in the back of his mind that a drunk teenager would knock over a candle in their carelessness. But the carpet probably wasn't all that flammable. Still, he hadn't considered the collective aura of hairspray, the whole place might go up like a tinderbox.

In which DuckBear is the majestic sport of kings.


   There was a silence like the kind right before an explosion of violence. The shark's silent approach before it sinks its jagged teeth into the flesh of a victim, the peacefulness of the fall before you splatter against the cement, the odd stillness before the bomb goes off. It was like that, the split second before everything went all terribly action-movie. But... it kept going. It was just long enough that it almost felt like it was something that could be shrugged off with a good group belly laugh, but yeah, the explosion happened anyway.

First Comic   Previous    Next   Current Comic
     October 20th, 2013
     By:  Kelly

As I worked on this comic, I could see time itself unspooling in my very hands. No, I cried, as the fabric of reality unraveled into its splendid fragile threads. How can this be, I said, my words came out as near silence as I trembled in awe at the unmaking of every comforting truth we had ever held dear. Also, I played too many video games.

Sprechen of such self effacements, I'm going to try hard to get a bonus in very soon, but please forgive me if I can't do it before November. We're working on our Halloweeniversary treat as well as our personal Halloweeniversary plans. You all are having a cake for our birthday I should hope! Use this chance to buy yourself a cake, it is the perfect opportunity. Eat it with delight. So anyhow, I hope there will be fun times nonetheless. <3


TRANSCRIPT: This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.


(Karl and his two friends stand looking pleased with themselves, sipping on probably crappy wine because they don't know any better. Candles glimmer in the background.)

STEVIA: This party is even better! It feels so adult.

BUCKET OF CHEESE:Yeah, we’re even drinking out of glasses.



(A young chap in the background apologizes for invariably dropping a glass. Two boys make out vigorously in the sofa much to most's chagrin.)

PIERRE: Sorry bro!

ESTHER: Whoa, haha.

STEVIA: Carmel and Lio are at it again. Ugh, life isn’t an Elsinor P. Spot book.


(Stevia and Bucket of Cheese are world weary and heterocentric.)

STEVIA: Everyone has a gay phase lately. So trendy, ugh.

BUCKET OF CHEESE: Yeah, I was done with that like, Freshman year. Hetero is way more classic for a reason. That’s like, the love they write sonnets about.


(Bucket of Cheese lies on Parasol's lap, distraught with the universe. Karl looks on from a nearby sofa.)

BUCKET OF CHEESE: Love is just bullshit. I’m done with it.

PARASOL: Huh well--

BUCKET OF CHEESE: I don’t mean like you and Solomon, that’s true love. But for me, it’s just not worth it.

MAURICE: Yeah just, yeah. Fuck.


(Bernard's obviously one of those busybodies who's always trying to set people up or is perhaps a paid informant.)

BERNARD: Karl. Oh. My. God. Cerise was saying that she is totally in love with you. You *have* to do something! She’s like, a beauty for the ages.

KARL: Who’s Cerise?


(Cerise approaches, she is beautiful and appropriately gothic. A familiar but difficult to place someone stands behind her.)

CERISE: Is someone talking about me?


(Karl is uncomfortable but perhaps comes off as looking bashful.)

KARL: Heh heh... noo... H-hi...


(The two stand on the balcony, leaning against the railing as Cerise pontificates.)

CERISE: They just don’t understand! God is in like, everything, and God is love so how can love not be real? Love is in like, those roof tiles, this railing, in your shirt. You know?

KARL: Uh huh.

CERISE: You’re such a good listener! I love that about you.


(Cerise is dropping mad 15 year old wisdom.)

CERISE: Karl, we have to live our lives while we’re still young. We can’t hold ourselves back, it’s just not worth it.

KARL: Yeah.

CERISE: If you feel something, you have to just say it or it will be trapped forever in your heart and it’ll like... rot.


(A cheerful rubber ball flies past the young poets.)



(Jack and Curly insinuate their colorful selves all up ins. )

JACK: DAMN YOU ‘FRY! It went off the railing!

CURLYFRY: Such is life.


(Karl is not impressed with the offer, and neither is Curlyfry.)

JACK: Oh hello, we’re engaging in a rousing game of DuckBear, care to join us?


KARL: Er, no thanks.


(Jack doesn't stay where he's not wanted. Cerise is all PSH. )

JACK: Suit yourself. (He says the next part very quietly.) See, it didn’t work.

CURLYFRY: Words are wasted on a false man.

CERISE: Tch! Em-bar-rass-ing! The party got invaded by children. Anywayyyy.....


(She suddenly grabs Karl and does an old school love confession.)

CERISE: Karl, I love you and we need to be together. Now. Forever. Or I’ll just die. I’ll die. Will you be mine?

KARL: Uhhhhhh sure?


(Curlyfry looks of a sentinel, but is in fact a spring loaded messenger for Dorein himself. She bides her time.)

CURLYFRY: Gonna tell.

Comic Rank