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(Transcript and visual captions below}

Keep your wits, old boy, thought the Punk Rock Haberdasher. Remember the code...
   Officer Henson said again, "The bondage harness and collared shirt came from this store. Two men. A recent purchase."
   A haberdasher is always discreet. "Mm. Indeed."
   Officer Stibble helpfully added, "Come on, cactus-head!"
   Keep it vague...

In which a sex pervert is the best pervert.

Karl dropped his head on the desk with a 'thwop', and knocked his kitten calendar askew. This was it, he was truly going bonkers now.
Did he get so bored at work he started fantasizing weird scenarios? Last night, was that even real? The waitress brought the noodles but-- did he just order them for himself? Did he do all the talking for Jack? Was he just an imaginary friend? This couldn't be real...

"Aww," Ingenue sat on the edge of his desk. "Are you really worried about tonight?"

"Huh? Why..."

"Your big assignment. Don't worry, there's this thing called a 'safe word.' Just don't forget it! Oh man, that'd suck. You'd be all
'Uhh potato! Pancake... Uh, pineapple?!' and they'd be all ~paddlepaddle~ can't hear you over this flogging! And you'd be all Nooooo, but maybe you'd like it, I dunno. Ahahaha. But seriously, man. Nah. Don't worry about it. No biggie."

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     March 24th, 2014
     By:  Kelly

Man that last row totally looks like us in the day time. xD Actually now I'm waking up around 8AM and it's like some totally twisted nightmare alternate reality. There's sun like... all day long. OMG.

I tried for a bonus again and... Welll at least I'm getting comics done on time now. x_x Thanks to Christopher for helping me with some panels above! I just couldn't do the PRHD the justice he deserves. And about the bonuses-- thanks everyone for your suggestions! We have an idea now, and it should be something you'll really like. More to be revealed! Feel free to drop more suggestions if you think of something else though. As ever, all my <3

            TRANSCRIPT: This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.


(A copy of the Harlan Observator has a picture of Jack with his digital CatCat disguise leading a riot.)

NEWSPAPER: RIOTS IN HARLAN! Is ABM Hacker the mastermind? Police ashamed - vow justice.


(Two white policemen question the Punk Rock Haberdasher,
one brunette and one blonde. He describes Jack and Darren.)

PRHD: Mm... Two white fellows, a brunette and a blonde...

BRUNETTE COP: And...? Yup. We’ll get ‘em now.


(The police lead handcuffed Mildred down the courthouse steps, her
  public defender waves away cameras and microphones crowd in.

MILDRED: The end is nigh, motherfuckers! Global chaos!


(At The Masher offices, Hans and Ingenue accost Karl as he comes through the door, coffee in hand.)

HANS:I’d ask how your date went, but while the potential of you getting laid is quite newsworthy--
  We’ve got some actual news news, and it’s sooo our thing! Catcat wore bondage gear last night!


(We see a black and white image of a potential Masher article, CatCat Jack is posing with two anarchists,
  who flash peace signs for the camera. In the background is riots and fire, below the image a headline.

HANS?: Like my mockup?

HEADLINE: CATCAT: SEX PERVERT! A look into the seedy world of...


(Karl's eyes are wide in recognition of Jack's outfit from last night. He doesn't say anything, drinking his "Harlan's Best" espresso.)

HANS: (from off panel) I’ve got connections in the community. We want you to ‘go deep,’ at least it’ll be funny.

INGENUE: (from off panel) ‘Go deep’ Haha.. Nice.

HANS: ‘Prude goes to bondage club’ I can see the headlines now! Right? I mean, we could make it a headline. Literally.


(Intense Karl forgot to take off his jacket, and stares at the notes and images on his desk.)

KARL: (thinks) That outfit...! Is it really you? But, how?


(Photographs of CatCat include little notes, the last in a different handwriting...)

ARROWS: Brown hair, profile, nice tits


(Karl yells as Hans, who pulls a "Who, me?" face. Hans is wearing a shirt advertising his "Don't Be Sad" project.)

KARL: Stop writing on my shit, Hans!

HANS: I’m an artist, I can’t help it.


(Back to his contemplation, Karl's eyes are wide with excitement at the mind-boggling situation. Possibly some other feelings too...)

KARL: (thinks)What the hell Jack...!


(Jack wakes up badly, GlenMark bills stuck to his body, eyes lopsided.)



  (Inside Jack's apartment, he goes to answer the door wearing only red long underwear.
In the foreground, sleepy Darren gestures vaguely with a semi-automatic pistol and mutters.

DARREN: geh’mee up ifitza clown.


(Jack looks disturbed at the peephole view of the hall.)

JACK: Aw hell nah.


(In the peephole view, we see a very bright-eyed Theodore eagerly waiting.)

DARREN: Izzit a clown?

JACK: Not exactly... I guess.


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