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(Transcript and visual captions below}

Chris Beksinski had a terrible sinking feeling. He wouldn't be able to get out of this, and it might cost him his life.
         "I uh, I don't drive Jack. I'm sorry."
         "I'll call you a cab. Please... everyone else is busy."
         "Everyone? Ummm what about your neighbors?"
         "Oh come on, you had fun last time, didn't you? I just want someone to hang out with for a little while." There was a hint of aggravation in Jack's tone, but he was obviously trying to sound pleasant.
         "Er, heh. Yeah I had fun last time, of course. It's just, um, it's such short notice?"
         "Are you doing something?"
         "Uh, no. True. But--"
         "It won't kill you to go out once in awhile."
         "Heh! Of course it won't um, kill me! Yeah! Ha-ha!"
         "Anyway, I'd like to talk to you about Minchin. You like killer stuff. You'll like this. Come over."
         "Huh? Killers? But--"
         "I'm calling you a cab." *click*
...That's not creepy or anything. Nope.

In which gold is better for teeth than for dicks.


The Greyburn estate had been so quiet lately. Ellen watched the steaming water pour into a finely polished porcelain bathtub.
"I almost feel like I could leave the estate these days, it's kinda nice."
         "What? Sounds like you're under a waterfall!" Helen shouted unnecessarily, making Ellen hold the phone at arm's length.
         "Just because you can't hear me doesn't mean that I-- *sigh* I would leave, but it's just too strange. What's he doing in there? He brought some stinking carrion in the other day, said he's making a new art project."
         "Is that really that weird? Remember the dog dress--"
         "How could I forget? Anyway, he's been working on it non-stop. I feel uneasy."
         "Why don't you just get out? I'm sure he'll be fine."
         "...Helen, I don't want to be a bitch but that's pretty easy for you to say. If he does something awful, it will be my fault."
         "OK fine, why don't we play Space Bingo online? You like that."
         "...I do like that. Okay. First, I have to throw Aubrey in this tub or he'll be tracking art all over."

In which gold is better for teeth than for dicks.


       "Whatever!" Ellen left the cloister.
       At least he cleaned the thing before he painted it, this time. Where'd he get that poor chap anyway? Ugh. Don't think of it, don't think of it... Space Bingo!

       "Oh dear, you escape from your bounds Nicholas?" Aubrey righted the painted skeleton, and rearranged the ribbons which strapped it to the chair.
       "I don't blame you. I too feel the call of freedom. How long are we to be shackled in this gilded cage? You feel better out of that dark oubliette though, don't you? Abandoned in some common well and roasted, what a travesty! Born from ash, like wicked old Had, have I resurrected you? You poor thing, shame you didn't bring your flesh along."
He teared up for a moment, and wiped his eyes on a century old shred of a manuscript
       "...Now where was I? Oh wait! I think you shall have a nice stole, it's rather drafty in here."

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     August 2nd, 2012
     By:  Kelly

Phew, this one was tough, but I feel pretty good about it. I feel like this might be one of the more subtly creepy pages yet, what with the fate of poor Nick the Cutter there. And moar demons! Someday post-Kingfisher we may hear more from Sitri, Berith and friends.

PS - hot tip from reader Gillsing -- ComicsAlliance is running a poll on sexiest male characters in comics. Might be of interest to Kingfisher fans... EHHHhh? (No pressure or anything. :P) Vote here! Thanks Gillsing!

             TRANSCRIPT:  This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.


(Jack lets Chris into the hotel room.)

CHRIS: Don’t you think it’s pretty late?

JACK:Nonono, come in. Quick.


(Jack leads him in, looking nervous.)

CHRIS: Wow I expected you’d live somewhere a lot nicer... uh, no offense. So um, you wanted to talk about Minchin?


(Jack is stunned to see a black balloon floating outside his window, Chris has his back turned as he blathers.)

CHRIS: He’s not really my fave. Seems a bit far-fetched. I’m more into gritty, realistic killers. Well I mean, not INTO-- unless they were like, um


(Jack points to the balloon but Chris is too slow to see it.)


CHRIS: Huh? Um, yeah. That’s a lousy view you got. Ha...


(Chris opens the grimy refrigerator which is filled with bottles of blood and messy drips.)

CHRIS: (thinks) Maybe if I get wasted this will be less terrifying.

JACK:No, don’t look in there!

CHRIS: Whoa, that’s a lot of wine. No food... Uh uh, but there’s nothing wrong with--


(Jack stands behind Chris, looking eerie and illuminated by the fridge light.)

JACK: I told you not to look in there.

CHRIS: ...Uh, I think I left my oven on--


(Jack suddenly grabs Chris, freaking out.)

JACK:NO! DON’T LEAVE! I need you to keep the clown away!

CHRIS: ohnono nono


(Allison and Thierry sit in the magic circle, a plume of smoke rising from the center.)

THIERRY:Ahaha! Excellent! Come forth demon!


(A large, red skinned, naked demon wearing a crown bursts from the circle, flapping his bat wings.)



(The red-skinned demon speaks.)



(Berith points accusingly at Thierry, Allison is awe-struck.)

BERITH: Hey I know you, kid. Can’t fool me with that mask. For the last time-- I can make you a prince, or turn your dick into gold, but I’m not your personal whoremonger. Sheesh.


(View of the Greyburn cathedral.)


(Aubrey speaks, holding a glass of blood.)

ELLEN: DAD! Time for your bath!

AUBREY:Ahh, Nicholas. This is truly pleasant. I am so grateful to be in your company again, my dear friend. Did I ever tell you about the royal scandal which cost the Queen her head?


(Ellen calls for him off-screen. He sits next to a skeleton, which has been tied to the chair with ribbons. The skeleton is painted and decorated, and the skull is stuffed with flowers.)

ELLEN: Bath time! Did you hear me?

AUBREY: I swear that she wore a look of righteous indignation even after her head was pulled from the basket! Haha yes, I may have had something to do with her fate....


(Aubrey yells off screen, Nick's skeleton slumps in its chair.)

ELLEN : DAD! What are you doing in there?

AUBREY: Leave me be! Cruel harridan.

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