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(Transcript and visual captions below}

Jack just knew he was going to get caught. Helen struggled with some stuffed garbage bags, looking a little more out of it than normal even, thanks to the daylight.
        "So what do you need Darren's old clothes for again?" she asked for the third or fourth time that morning.
        "It's uh, for the charity event. For kids. Y'know..." Jack stammered, trying to remember if he'd told that same story earlier or not. Darren of course, was waiting in the car. He didn't want Helen to know he was back, since he was really going for the whole 'running away' scenario by the book. Jack wondered why they couldn't just go shopping for new clothes instead. Talk about a win-win situation.
Helen rolled her weary eyes around for a moment, trying to snatch at a complete thought,
        "...but these clothes are pretty worn out, you know how li'l Darren is. I don't think they'll accept them in this condition."
        "Uhhhhhh that's okay because they will use them to build bonfires to stay warm," Jack said with a shaky grin.
        "Oh... well here you go!"
Jack had nearly dashed away with the bags when Helen caught his attention again,
        "Hey Jack, have you seen Darren?"
It was a good thing vampires didn't sweat.
        "Oh okay, well see ya later sweetie!"

In which Darren is apparently not super bad.

 Tristan shrugged, "You know, we just be dead anyway. No big deal, huh?"
        Jack was trying really hard not to look goofy, "Uh huh...!"
He really regretted letting Darren talk him into just laying around the room all night to 'conserve blood.' It did feel good to not have to run around for once, but look what happened! Caught in an embarrassing novelty t-shirt in front of a freakin' fashion model. He should have known his own good hygiene and fashion sense wouldn't rub off on Darren, rather, he would be dragged down into the grubby, grubby depths of Darrendom. How unfortunate.

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     March 1st, 2012
     By:  Kelly

So listening to Dio on infinite loop is pretty much the only way I finished this. O. M. G. So remember my vow to never do 5 row comics? Well, I didn't do 5 rows, but I did CRAM AS MANY PANELS IN AS POSSIBLE APPARENTLY AUGHHH. I apologize, guys.

Up on top there is the grand reveal of our tattooed journalist at last! Remember him from previous pages ? I waffled on whether to include him earlier in the story, and I said. YES. A thousand times yes. Well, he won't show up again for a bit so oh well. The next page we're going to step back in time a bit, and see what happened with Demy and Tomasz. Uhhh can't think of anything else right now because brain broked. OK bye bye I love you.

Oh PS: Mary gets all the bonus points! The reference from the previous comic is for Twin Peaks. That's probably my main inspiration for making giant casts of loveable weirdos.

             TRANSCRIPT: This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.


(Jack and Darren talk to a clerk at SleepyTown fine hotels. An intriguing woman behind them seems to take notice of something about them.)

HOT TIPPER : Hans? Oh man...

DARREN: So what's your swankiest room?

CLERK: What is 'swanks'?

JACK: How about 'non-filthy?'


(The woman backs away from them to tell this 'Hans' cat about something 'good' apparently. Jack and Darren are put out about the customer service.)

HOT TIPPER : This is a good one...

CLERK: 'Filthy' is relative...


(KARL RANDOM works at his cubicle. His pink-haired coworker Ingenue has come up to talk to him like a hipster version of Lumberg.)

INGENUE: Hey Karl, got a new gossip lead.

KARL: Hans doesn't want it? Must be real thrilling.


(Ingenue walks off uninterestedly.)

INGENUE: He's busy working on a new parody article 'cuz your boyfriend's back.

KARL: What?

INGENUE: The Grey whatever.


(Karl looks like he's found a clue! Jinkies!)

KARL: The Grey Menace? But.. he's dead! ...isn't he?


(A brand new post on the MLOG, the Masher's blog. An old photo of Darren is in the center.)


Hey kids, Karl here filling in for the beloved Hans Farrell as ever. Sigh. Word on the street is Darren Langley of the late/lamented Belfries was caught checking in to a sleazy hotel with a sexy dude. He's gay? Who--- (CUT) So how hot is this mystery beau? Word is - pretty hot. Who knew that crusty guy had any taste? Apparently this is news. I have to fill this entire section out. Does anyone even care about the Belfries at this point? I don't even remember why I liked them--



(Jack and Darren sleep in their grungy hotel room.)


(Demetri annoys his cab driver, still in partially Grey Menace regalia.)

DEMETRI: No, of course not! What? Should I have rented a diving suit?! Oh please!


(Vitus has an inscrutable and unhappy look, stacks of books nearby and a book of 'Poetry of' something or other still on his bed .)


(The moon moons it up.)


(Jack and Darren are maxin' and relaxin'. Darren wears his favorite frog shirt, happily retrieved by Jack in the top text. Jack wears some strange Dr. PinkPink oversized thing and comfy shorts.)

JACK: A rockstar in a hotel room... Does that trigger your destructive instincts? Feel like wrecking this place up more than it already is?


(Darren is deep.)

DARREN: Man, I ain't a rockstar. Maybe a long time ago, but can't be one now that I'm dead.

JACK: Why not?


(Jack is either being a dick or an agnostic.)

DARREN: I don't got a soul!

JACK: Did you before?


(The door goes BRZZTT to Jack's surprise.)


(Tristan of all people is at the door, Jack is flabbergasted.)

TRISTAN: Jack! Oh I'm so happy I find you!

JACK: Tristan...?! How... Wha... Umm...


(Tristan hugs Jack, who is still confused.)

TRISTAN: I wanted a surprise but blondie man says you move, and I was sad!


JACK: I thought you were locked up for good!


(Tristan makes a crazy, crazy face while relating a story. Demetri talks Sarah into letting him go, back at the chemical plant.)

TRISTAN: Me too! But then Demy helps me! Tonight he yells at Mr. Tomasz and then he makes me free!

DEMETRI: --Yes that beastly villain is using the children to lure the elders out. It's not safe to have Tristan around...

SARAH: Oh brother.


TRISTAN: Demy is good frand, huh!

JACK: Uh, hm... Something... like that.


TRISTAN: So can I stay with you guys?

JACK: Of course, but we only have two beds...

TRISTAN: I could share with you?

DARREN: GAYY-- oh wait, I already said that.


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